“My family is humiliated by my lack of accomplishments,” a 28-year-old Singaporean guy said in response to his relatives’ mockery of him as an ordinary student. How can I control their expectations?
Background and Family Expectations
The man revealed that he was born and raised in a prosperous Chinese family where professions like law, medicine, finance, and high-level corporate positions were valued highly. He added that even his younger cousins have prominent positions, and that many of his family members are CEOs, founders, and top executives.
Despite having a low GPA, the Redditor was able to land a job, but luck was not on his side. This year, he lost his first job and has since had trouble finding another, which has caused him more pain.
Career Setback and Public Fallout
He said that a big mistake he made at his former employment contributed to the company’s demise. The owner of the company later discussed the incident on podcasts, but he was not named, which only made him feel more ashamed.
“My parents’ attitude has changed significantly following my termination. For instance, barely communicating with me. The man said, “My folks finally lost it today and canceled all the Christmas family get-togethers we were meant to attend.”
Harsh Comparisons and Family Rejection
“They began yelling at me, claiming that they could not bear to see my relatives and that I am a total shame to them. They then went on to complain about how my relatives, who are my age, are already physicians or department heads of multinational corporations and are purchasing their first homes or cars while I am unemployed. He went on to ask whether I felt ashamed and why I could not be like them.
The man claimed that he now feels “hopeless” and that the frequent comparisons have always caused him to experience anxiety and melancholy.
Emotional Strain and Mental Health Impact
“I am ashamed and have been experiencing anxiety and sadness since my termination, and even before then, when I did not graduate with distinction, as all of my family and cousins did. (I did my best at college, avoiding distractions and maintaining focus, but I still had trouble.) However, I never imagined that my lack of accomplishments meant so much to them, and this is the first time I have heard that they feel ashamed of me,” the user commented. The man was upset about his circumstances and went to Reddit to ask for assistance.
Social media users responded as follows:
Online Reactions and Advice
“I do not think you need any remedies to deal with your family’s high standards. It is they who are failing you. You are their child, and instead of helping you (the irony is that they have the resources most people can only imagine), they treat you badly and make you feel worse by comparing you to other people. The worst thing is that they let your family members mistreat you as well. One person commented, “Screw their expectations—they are TERRIBLE parents.”
“Move out if you can not ignore them.” Parents that genuinely care about you would help you get through this trying moment rather than viewing you as an embarrassment. Another person said, “Your parents sound really toxic and unsupportive, which will only make it tougher for you to get out of this rut.”
Final Message From Commenters
According to commenters, constant comparison would only worsen his emotional state and delay recovery. Their collective message was clear: self-worth should not be defined by family prestige or job titles.
